Two Sisters
Once upon a time, there were two sisters and an older brother in a loving, Christian family in Oklahoma. They were reared in the Gospel, yet marred by the family dysfunction and dissipation related to their father’s weakness.
The older sister was much smarter and prettier by the standards of the world. The younger sister was distorted by a physical handicap which prevented her from adequately hearing and living as a completely normal child. She learned to lean more heavily on what was within her.
As they progressed through adulthood, the older sister had great achievements academically, vocationally, economically, and was raising a family with success. The younger sister, while pursuing an education to prepare her for ministry, was faltering and stumbling constantly. Later she experienced an unhappy and failed marriage. Never had children. No worldly career. Yet she pursued what God had placed in her heart –singing unto the Lord, pondering His Word, and pursuing the Savior.
Over the years, the older sister frequently wounded her sibling with well meaning attempts to direct her life. She wanted her younger sister to find success like hers. She gave her directives, standards to meet and comparisons to motivate her. The result was quite the opposite. The younger sister was frequently hurt and often confused.
The tensions increased as the older sister experienced success in her church and among like-minded friends. “What could be wrong? Everyone appreciates my hard work and my faithful exercise of my gift of hospitality. We are known for being mission-minded and generous givers of our time and resources. If only my sister could be more like me.”
The younger sister went through several phases of partial understanding and growing frustration, feeling rejected and dishonored by her well meaning sister. It grew to the point where she attempted several approaches over time to bridge the gap. Compliance was a shallow and temporary solution. Arguments were focused on behaviors. Sometimes even a hope for understanding appeared. Each seemed unable to understand the heart and spirit of the other. It was as if they were living in different worlds.
They were.
Younger sister spent a season of seeking counsel. Attempts were made to break through using carefully and prayerfully written letters. Yet the behaviors continued. What could be wrong?
“I have prayed so earnestly, waited, usually patiently, and attempted so many times to achieve some understanding”. Yet the problem grew.
Finally. A revelation. The behaviors were not primarily caused by childhood history, youthful failures, a dysfunctional family history or personality traits. The real root of the problem was opposing spiritual Christian understandings, or theologies.
Progress could not be made by merely addressing behaviors, citing history, seeking traditional counseling and incomplete prayers. Christian life lived by self-improvement, performance, appearance, acceptance and worldly ministry is an endless trap.
The revelation was “not I, but Christ” and “all our righteousness is filthy rags.” The born-again experience is based entirely on repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus. New life is meant to be manifested by love, exercised in the power of the Holy Spirit expressing the life of Christ within. The Savior wants to express His heart of love and redemption, mercy and truth through a completely yielded vessel. This frequently looks like failure to the world and to many Christians.
Great human performance or achievement frequently leads to pride and comparison. Poor performance usually leads to low self-esteem, guilt and shame. The enemy wants us rocking back and forth between these performance-based extremes. God is not looking for performance; He is seeking containers, vessels from which to express His life.
Does this remind you of the two prodigal sons? One, a blatant sinner, found repentance and wanted to be in the Father’s presence. The other, a high achiever, desired recognition. Both needed a touch from the Father. A comparison may also be made between Mary and Martha in John’s gospel.
The Father’s great passion is to reveal Himself to His children. He loved us so much, He sent His Son. He died for us that we might live His life by yielded abiding in Christ. This is the “Great Exchange” of II Cor 5:21 4:10-11. Vital union with Him.
This is not merely teaching, but a revelation to be received. God rewards those who diligently seek …
Gary Gaither 6 February 2011 AD
